Levin (kage_matsuri) wrote,

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Beginning of a new era

Life has been throwing me some very interesting curve balls as of late. Some are good, some are flat out bad while others are a mixed gray area that scare me shitless because they can lead just about anywhere. I figured it's time I start to use this stupid blog so I can get my thoughts down, let the people who read it know what I'm planning for myself over the next few years and have something to come back to and reflect upon.

First up is my job. I really don't know exactly where I want to go with QuikTrip just yet simply because I don't know where I'm gonna be in two to three years. I suppose for now I should focus on improving my overall level of performance and work towards either maintaining my current position or maybe move up to a full time clerk sometime in the next year. I'd say I'd be interested in becomming an assistant but... honestly I don't feel like dedicating that much time to the job. I need to work on myself in other areas and not just eat, sleep, fuck and go to work.

Next up is my family. I have been neglecting bonding with my parents for a long time now. I can't really say why because truthfully I'm not sure any more. I guess I thought that things in the past had done more damage than they really did and felt rather hopeless. Current events in my life (that I'm NOT interested into going great detail about) have however pushed me much closer to my parents and generally helped even out my temperment towards them. The past is the past and it's really time to let things just be water under the bridge.

Speaking of letting the past be the past, that brings me to my goals for all the bad blood I've had in the past. BLEED. IT. THE. FUCK. OUT. I am... surprisingly WELL on the way to doing this as lately I've been evaluating my life, the people in it and what really fucking matters. Shit that went down that made me cry or freak out three to four years ago should NOT have the kind of power over me it does/did. I'm done. I wash my hands of the past. We all fuck up. There are some things I personally did that I won't forgive myself for, but to the rest of it I say adios. You've ruined things in my life for too goddamn long.

Another point of interest is my health. I'm tired of being a fat, prematurely balding (fuck you genetics) self esteemless twit. Personality wise I'm fucking AWESOME. I know I'm awesome. My friends love the shit out of me because of it and it's time I stopped letting my lack of self esteem roll me over when it shouldn't. To this end I intend to work out. REGULARLY. I'm talking I'm going to the gym to do SOMETHING every other day. Increasing my energy reserves, sheading a ton of this weight and generally improving my physical quality of life will go a LONG way towards helping me build confidence and self esteem.

Of course... all the above goals are well and good but it's time I pick up the pieces where I left them about four years ago. It's time I got off my ass, got myself into school... and started thinking about my future. My primary goal is to either hit up some remedial classes to get my brain back into working order at Chattahoochee Tech/and or get myself into an SAT prep course. I'm pretty sure I should probably consider hitting up some remedial studies in general first since I've lost a lot of my edge since I've been out of school for so long. My goal is to get this underway by the summer/fall semester in '09. I'd say sooner but realistically speaking I need to sort out my finances first.

So to recap my goals for the new year I'm going to:

Maintain my job and improve my personal performance

Further improve upon and expand my relationship with my parents

Let the past GO. It's time to just move on

Improve my health and work towards shedding at LEAST 30 to 40 lbs of body fat as my first goal

Get my education rolling. I'm 24 years old... it's time to consider my future and what I want to do with it

So here's hoping the new year will be a good and productive one full of love, happiness and self improvement for me and everyone else in my life. It's going to be rough, but all of it needs to start happening. Wish me luck, folks!
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