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What you lack is reality...

But I will give it to you...

12/1/10 01:10 pm - Yeah it's been for freakin' ever...

I just want to say I hope everyone is doing well and that I at least still read my friends page.

Outside of that the PRIMARY reason I'm here is to let folks know that I'm starting up my own guild within World of Warcraft. It's Alliance side on US Sentinels. The current primary focuses of the guild will be raiding, RP, socializing and hopefully PVP should the interest take root. With Cataclysm less than a week away from launch I figured I'd toss that information out there so that any friends here who might be interested in checking it out can give me a poke. Kinda bare bones officer wise right now but I'll be working hard this week to recruit and flesh our ranks out a bit.

http://houseofshademantle.guildlaunch.com/

Check us out!

12/25/09 03:00 am - OMFG

Merry Christmas, peoples!

8/24/09 05:05 pm - ^_^

A big thanks to everyone who has wished me happy birthday. I really appreciate it guys... so far this one has proven to be rather nice. =)

8/21/09 06:37 pm - Well then...

Now that it's official... who of those whom play WoW are switching factions?

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/cataclysm/

Fairwell, Horde.

12/29/08 11:04 am - Beginning of a new era

Life has been throwing me some very interesting curve balls as of late. Some are good, some are flat out bad while others are a mixed gray area that scare me shitless because they can lead just about anywhere. I figured it's time I start to use this stupid blog so I can get my thoughts down, let the people who read it know what I'm planning for myself over the next few years and have something to come back to and reflect upon.

First up is my job. I really don't know exactly where I want to go with QuikTrip just yet simply because I don't know where I'm gonna be in two to three years. I suppose for now I should focus on improving my overall level of performance and work towards either maintaining my current position or maybe move up to a full time clerk sometime in the next year. I'd say I'd be interested in becomming an assistant but... honestly I don't feel like dedicating that much time to the job. I need to work on myself in other areas and not just eat, sleep, fuck and go to work.

Next up is my family. I have been neglecting bonding with my parents for a long time now. I can't really say why because truthfully I'm not sure any more. I guess I thought that things in the past had done more damage than they really did and felt rather hopeless. Current events in my life (that I'm NOT interested into going great detail about) have however pushed me much closer to my parents and generally helped even out my temperment towards them. The past is the past and it's really time to let things just be water under the bridge.

Speaking of letting the past be the past, that brings me to my goals for all the bad blood I've had in the past. BLEED. IT. THE. FUCK. OUT. I am... surprisingly WELL on the way to doing this as lately I've been evaluating my life, the people in it and what really fucking matters. Shit that went down that made me cry or freak out three to four years ago should NOT have the kind of power over me it does/did. I'm done. I wash my hands of the past. We all fuck up. There are some things I personally did that I won't forgive myself for, but to the rest of it I say adios. You've ruined things in my life for too goddamn long.

Another point of interest is my health. I'm tired of being a fat, prematurely balding (fuck you genetics) self esteemless twit. Personality wise I'm fucking AWESOME. I know I'm awesome. My friends love the shit out of me because of it and it's time I stopped letting my lack of self esteem roll me over when it shouldn't. To this end I intend to work out. REGULARLY. I'm talking I'm going to the gym to do SOMETHING every other day. Increasing my energy reserves, sheading a ton of this weight and generally improving my physical quality of life will go a LONG way towards helping me build confidence and self esteem.

Of course... all the above goals are well and good but it's time I pick up the pieces where I left them about four years ago. It's time I got off my ass, got myself into school... and started thinking about my future. My primary goal is to either hit up some remedial classes to get my brain back into working order at Chattahoochee Tech/and or get myself into an SAT prep course. I'm pretty sure I should probably consider hitting up some remedial studies in general first since I've lost a lot of my edge since I've been out of school for so long. My goal is to get this underway by the summer/fall semester in '09. I'd say sooner but realistically speaking I need to sort out my finances first.

So to recap my goals for the new year I'm going to:

Maintain my job and improve my personal performance

Further improve upon and expand my relationship with my parents

Let the past GO. It's time to just move on

Improve my health and work towards shedding at LEAST 30 to 40 lbs of body fat as my first goal

Get my education rolling. I'm 24 years old... it's time to consider my future and what I want to do with it

So here's hoping the new year will be a good and productive one full of love, happiness and self improvement for me and everyone else in my life. It's going to be rough, but all of it needs to start happening. Wish me luck, folks!

12/25/08 03:54 pm - Christmas

This holiday used to hold a lot of warmth and happiness for me, but then I guess everything did when I was younger. Regardless... Christmas time for me is like taking a trip to a graveyard. I can fondly read the names of all my pleasant childhood memories on the tombstones but in the end that's all they are. Cold, dead memories of when things were better. The only thing I'm walking away with this year that I can say I'm truly blessed for having is my job with QuikTrip. Everything else has either been lost, marred by years of bad blood or diminished due to personal short comings. Yet still I move on, hoping that I can one day obtain the things I want most in life. Anyhow... enough rambling and self pity for one entry. I wish everyone a very merry Christmas, and to those who have the warmth of loved ones and family... cherish it. Don't ever take any of that for granted no matter how dull or routine it might seem to you. Be safe everyone...

10/28/08 02:10 pm - It seems I'm about 8 days late in regards to finding out...

I doubt many people on my friends list will know who I'm talking about were I mention the name Ezra Chatterton.. the easiest way for me to explain it would be to post a snippet from WoWInsider.

You may remember the story of Ezra Chatterton. He and his father played together in Azeroth, using the World of Warcraft to spend quality time with one another. Ezra had a brain tumor. Thanks to help from the Make-A-Wish foundation and Blizzard, Ezra was able to live out some of his dream of being a game developer. You can see his influence in the Merciless Gladiator's Crossbow of the Phoenix, which is finely crafted to ePhoenix's specification. Ezra was the rider for the first phoenix mount in game. But, only a few months ago, we heard the frightening news that Ezra had suffered a stroke.

Reader Sedna directed us to Ezra's web site for the saddening news. Ezra passed away on Monday, October 20th, at 10PM pacific time. We at WoW Insider would like to offer our sympathies to Ezra's family. Both they and Ezra are in our thoughts. His story was an inspiring one, and we will not forget ePhoenix.


I'm sure some may wonder why I'm bothering with posting about this in my own journal when I didn't even know the boy. Well... cancer has become a very relevant part of my life recently... mostly through my father. The effects of the disease are terrible and I feel for anyone who either suffers from it directly or through a loved one. I've had nothing but the highest hopes for this young man, and it honestly breaks my heart that the inevitable so soon came to pass. My thoughts are with his family and I can only hope that they know there are those of us who followed Ezra's story ever since Blizzard first made us aware of it all. As for Ezra... may the eternal sun guide you.

3/19/08 03:07 pm - It's time for a change

It's time for me to cast off the threads of my past. As such I have started a new live journal which I truly hope I'll be more dedicated to keeping up to date. This one holds far too much bad blood for me to wish to keep it maintained any more. If any of you care to tag along with me on this journey head over to my new journal and add me as a friend I will do the same. This journal will deleted after a week. My new live journal can be found at caim_nilathwyn.

2/10/08 01:38 pm - Rest in peace Aaron Carl Cameron

Despite not being able to stay close to a large group of my friends that I had made in Elementary through Middle School once I entered High School... they all remained important to me. I learned recently that one of them is no longer with us. He was an Army Specialist stationed in Alaska. The circumstances of his passing still remain unclear to us... all we know is that he was found dead in his barracks. Regardless of the circumstances of his passing, a loyal and true friend has been lost far too early. I will always remember his obnoxious over the top laugh and the mornings filled with Pokemon trading in Middle School. Rest in peace, Aaron. You will always be in our hearts.

1/23/08 12:09 am - RIP Heath...

and to the fucker at work who thought dropping a comment along the lines of "I guess that's what you get when you fuck a guy on the big screen"... die a horrible death.
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